The Buns are back
February 24.
That was the last time I hauled my own buns to the computer to post something here. Six months of thinking about stuff to post, seeing cool stuff I wanted to link to, fretting about not getting a post up on a day I’d planned it, vowing to get off my virtual tush and publish something awesome the next day.
Six months of excuses and lameness. It ends today.
It’s not like I’ve been laying around re-watching all of the Harry Potter movies in order… well, actually, I have been doing that. but not just that. For instance, there was this (details to come later):
It—and the move from the dirty Jerz to Manhattan that accompanied it—took up a big chunk of my summer. And while I am extremely happy and adjusting to living with a boy in wedded bliss, it’s taken me quite some time to get myself in order.
I realized today that I was totally falling for the “If I can just ______ and _______, conditions will be perfect for me to do what I really want to do” fallacy. I think you know what I’m talking about. Your blanks may be “get the kids in bed before 9 and get myself in bed before midnight” or “find a new job and lose five pounds” or “organize my sock drawer and figure out how to turn dryer lint into currency.” But it’s all hooey, and we know it; we just forget it every once in a while.
So I’m back, haulers, just as I am: in need of a haircut, a little squidgy around the upper arms, still figuring out how to get my workout groove on, still fighting a daily battle with the Pepperidge Farm Sausalito cookies lurking in my coworker’s snack drawer. (BTW, an entire bag of those chocolate-and-macadamia-nut puppies will run you 40 PointsPlus values. Don’t ask me why I know that. YOU’RE WELCOME.)
But I’m here. And hopefully, you still are, too.
Spinning Tunes
To be a good instructor, you have to take classes. It keeps you fit, it gives you great ideas that you can steal use for inspiration, and it opens you up to ways that other instructors communicate with clients. I took a great Spinning class last week in New York, and I have to thank the teacher for kicking my butt hard-core (and for giving me a few notions about this playlist and how to teach to it). Enjoy!
1. Hurt (Deeper-Mindset Tight Mix) — Christina Aguilera (7:04)
2. Commander (feat. David Guetta) — Kelly Rowland (3:38)
3. Born This Way — Lady GaGa (4:20)
4. Lose Yourself — Eminem (5:21)
5. Keep Hope Alive — The Crystal Method (6:12)
6. Mr. Brightside — The Killers (3:54)
7. Forget You — Cee Lo Green (3:43)
8. My Life Would Suck Without You — Kelly Clarkson (3:32)
9. Teenage Love Affair — Alicia Keys (3:10)
10. Thank U — Alanis Morissette (4:18)
11. Marry Me — Train (3:25)
Making my pointe
New year, new obsession: I went to see Black Swan last week, and I’m now reaching levels of interest in ballet unacceptable for a 32-year-old who can’t stand in fifth position for more than 30 seconds.
You’ve probably heard about how star Natalie Portman trained for a year, lost 20 pounds and broke a rib as she prepped for the psychological thriller about a ballerina who starts to lose her mind when she nabs the lead role in Swan Lake. Or maybe you know the mild scandal about Portman being pregnant and newly engaged to Benjamin Millepied, her partner in the film. Or maybe you’ve just been creeped out by the trailers, which are pretty damn spooky. Good reasons to go see it, all.
Me? I’m in love with the clothes. And because it’s lame to dress like a ballerina without actually being a ballerina, I’m now thinking about taking a class or two just so I can rock the look. (Note: This is probably also lame, but in a different way.) Can you blame me?
The design house Rodarte created some pieces for the film, and while I was blown away by the intricate stage costumes, I am lusting after the knitwear Portman wears during the rehearsal scenes. One arm warmer in particular, crafted in Rodarte’s signature open knit, is my favorite. (I can’t find any photos of it online, but it’s very similar in style to the scarf Portman wears throughout the flick.)
For a girl who loves dance movies, something like this is bound to happen every few years. The last time, it was Save the Last Dance, which led to weeks of baggy-pantsed, adult-ed hip-hop classes. When that went well, I convinced my friend, Heather, to sign up for six weeks of beginner ballet.
We had to wear tights. The instructor was insane. I couldn’t do anything right. I don’t even think I attended the final class. And when I texted Heather the other night, our conversation went something like this:
ME: Remind me how much I hated ballet class.
HEATH: Are you thinking about doing another one???
ME: Thinking about maybe.
HEATH: Just remember: leotards.
ME: And turnout. That sucked.
HEATH: I tell myself that no amount of ballet will make me look like Natalie Portman.
That’s true in my case, too. But in the name of shaking things up in 2011, I’ve vowed to try new things. (And old things that I think I hate, just to make sure that I really, truly hate them.) Plus, mixing up workouts keeps me interested, and possibly less injured than normal, and that’s always a good thing. But if you see me in a few weeks and I look like this…
… you may want to gently suggest that my toeshoes are laced a little too tightly.
Fairy Tales and Fat Jokes
Ringer and Angle
I promise, this blog isn’t going to turn into HatredForAnyoneWhoEverCalledAnyoneFatInPrint.com. But I couldn’t let Alastair Macaulay’s sour take on the New York City Ballet’s current Sugar Plum Fairy pass without opening it up for discussion.
A little background: Macaulay, a ballet critic for The New York Times, reviewed City Ballet’s current production of The Nutcracker at the end of last month. He liked it, but pointed out that Sugar Plum Fairy Jennifer Ringer “looked as if she’d eaten one sugar plum too many.” The body critique extended to Jared Angle, who dances the part of the Cavalier; Macaulay wrote, Angle “seems to have been sampling half the Sweet realm.”
When readers wrote in to complain, Macaulay penned another piece defending his position. Ballet is all about bodies, he argued. If you can’t handle the scrutiny, toss your toeshoes in the trash for good.
Then, Ringer appeared on Today on Monday, talking about the controversy. The ballerina, who has previously discussed her history of anorexia and compulsive eating, handled questions gracefully.
“As a dancer, I do put myself out there to be criticized, and my body is part of my art form. At the same time, I’m not overweight. I do have, I guess, a more womanly body type than the stereotypical ballerina. But that’s one of the wonderful things about, actually, the New York City Ballet is we have every body type you can imagine. We have tall, we have petite, we have athletic, we have womanly, we have waiflike. I mean, we have every body type out there, and they can all dance like crazy, they’re all gorgeous. And I think dance should be more of a celebration of that, of seeing these beautiful women with these different bodies all dancing to this gorgeous music, and that’s what should be celebrated.”
She added that she doesn’t want an apology from Macaulay. I’d add that she shouldn’t get one; what he said, though silly, is well within his realm. Critics often write things artists don’t like, and then everyone moves on.
But I’m interested in hearing what you out there in Haul nation have to say on the matter. I’m probably a little biased. As a “bigger” group fitness instructor, I have often run into people who can’t believe that I have the physical ability to lead a class in a challenging workout. Then we spend a sweaty hour together, and minds are changed. Given my experience, it took very little time for me to wholeheartedly jete onto Team Ringer. And I’m also wondering why no one’s up in arms about the comments made about Angle, a question Macaulay also raises in his rebuttal. Is it because Angle’s a dude? Do weight cracks not matter, or are they more easily dismissed, when they’re made about men? I’m all over the place, faithful Haulers. Leave comments and give me some guidance. What say you?
What do you think?
Fuel Yourself: Carrot and parsnip latkes
I’m a total dork for winter festivity. Blame advertising. Blame sentimentality. Blame the fact that my momma always starts playing Christmas music on Thanksgiving night and doesn’t take down the tree until well after the new year. If you can string it with lights, festoon it with tinsel, fa-la-la-la-la it or serve it with figgy pudding, there’s a good chance I love it. A LOT.
Because The Fiancé is Jewish, I have extended my love of ridiculous holiday decorations to all things blue-and-white. Yeah, I understand that Hanukkah and Christmas aren’t equivalent holidays, and that I’m generally making a much bigger deal of it than his parents ever did, but whatever. In my family, we once created a day just for Momma — in September, independent of her birthday or Mother’s Day — and marked it with a huge banner, cards, and a giant bowl of M&Ms. In short: We like to celebrate.
So now that it’s December and tonight is the first night of Hanukkah, how about we kick things off with a really delicious latke (potato pancake) recipe I found in an issue of Weight Watchers Weekly last year? Carrots and parsnips take some of the place of potatoes, resulting in a nice mix of root vegetables that reheats well. I served these with grilled chicken and a salad, and TF was a fan. Don’t forget the applesauce and sour cream!
Carrot-Parsnip Latkes
¾ lb. carrots, peeled and grated
¾ lb. parsnips, peeled and grated
1 medium onion, peeled and grated
2 large egg whites and 1 large egg, combined and lightly beaten
¼ cup plain breadcrumbs
2 tsp. chopped fresh thyme (or whatever seasoning you like)
¼ tsp. salt
dash of ground black pepper
Preheat the oven to 200 degrees. Combine all of the veggies in a bowl, then add the egg mixture, breadcrumbs, and seasonings. Mix well. Drop ¼ cup servings of the mixture onto a hot skillet greased with cooking spray, and flatten each serving into a little pancake. Cook until browned and cooked through, flipping to ensure even cooking.
Makes 16 latkes. If you’re counting according to the now-obsolete Weight Watchers Points system, two latkes are one Point. I’ll try to repost the new PointsPlus values after my meeting this week!
Fuel Yourself: Minty goodness
Yummy!
I almost don’t want to tell you guys about this, because I love it so much and it’s a little hard to find, but in my post-Friday-run euphoria, I’m feeling magnanimous. Go to your local grocery store and buy Silk’s Mint Chocolate soymilk, which is offered only during the holiday season. Guys, it’s so good. 90 calories a cup (2 Points, if you’re counting), and it tastes like melted Thin Mints. I’ve heated mine up this morning, and I’m sipping it while I stretch.
Stash some in your fridge for the holidays, and when everyone else is drowning in eggnog, you’ve got a healthy and really tasty treat.
P90X-posed!
You may remember when my sister, Kelley, gave us her thoughts on the P90X home workout program. (The next installment of that post, by the way, will be put up as soon as I can armwrestle her into submission any day now.) I know a bunch of you have done or are doing the popular and challenging blend of cardio, strength-building and flexibility DVDs, so you might find this Los Angeles Times story interesting — particularly if you got your P90X from eBay.
Seems like some of the copies that have been sold were bootlegs, and the bootleggers got caught. While I’m pretty sure the Feds aren’t going to bust into your house and confiscate your less-than-legal copies, maybe it’s a good time to get back onto the program. You know, all the better to make a quick getaway…
Poles, brooms, po-tay-to, po-tah-to
So while I was chillin’ in AC this weekend, one of the biggest events of the wizarding world was taking place in New York City: the Quidditch World Cup!
(If you’re not a Harry Potter fan, scroll down to the strippers. This won’t be long, I promise.)
The MetroMix photos make it look like a collegial good time. But a friend who was there as a spectator, and who is perhaps the most rabid Harry Potter fan I know, left after 20 minutes. “I was uncomfortable,” she said. “You know how some kids are accidental dorks, and others lord their dorkiness over others? These kids were the latter.” For the rest of the day, I found it really hard not to picture The Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy gallumping around with a broom wedged between his legs. I’m sorry. It’s haunted me all day, and now it will haunt you, too.
Worst. Snitch. Ever.
And then, because I am at heart an accidental dork who has moments of lording it over others, I got all excited for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I, which comes out this week.
In other sports-that-rely-on-a-great-deal-of-thigh-strength news, apparently the American Pole Fitness Championships were also held in the Big Apple just weeks ago. (Totally not making this up.) There’s no nudity here, but please don’t watch this highlight video at work. Haul Buns should never be the cause of an HR inquiry. But when you’ve got a free moment, take a gander at the athleticism and strength necessary to perform some of these moves. Absolutely insane.
And that got me thinking about a pretty funny Conan O’Brien bit with a strip pole. Dare I hope I could find it on the Internets? Done.
His stripper name? Coco, of course.
Everybody’s haulin’ for the weekend
After kind of an insane week at work, this weekend cannot arrive quickly enough. Good thing I’ve got great stuff on the agenda. First, a Dave Matthews Band concert tonight. I don’t care if you hate DMB. I loooooooooooove them, and their “Two Step” has gotten me through many a long run.
Then tomorrow, a morning workout to remind my tush that it’s not SUPPOSED to be cemented to a chair all day long.
Artist's rendering
Followed by my first-ever visit to Atlantic City to celebrate the 40th birthday of Deanna, one of the cool chicks who reads this blog. I’m going to bring my sneakers, and by God, I will use them. Maybe.
C'mon slots. Mama needs a new pair of...
Some interesting bits to tide you over until I’m back:
You’ll remember that I spotted Chilean miner Edison Pena during his ING New York City Marathon run last weekend. But I had no idea who the guys running alongside him were. Thanks, The New York Times, for filling me in.(And thanks to Melissa for sending me the story!)
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure that your fitness exploits can’t easily be mistaken for a suicide attempt. Please?
Happy weekend, everyone!
Spinning Tunes
If the time change is making you groggy, this playlist may be the kick you need to get you out the door. My classes this week did a lot of sore-buns, in-the-saddle riding to these songs. Good work, everyone! It should be noted that The Fiancé went to France in the spring and downloaded the Edward Maya tune right after he got back—it was on the radio 24/7 there. Now that Maya’s got a hit in the U.S., as well, TF has deemed himself a talented arbiter of pop hits. I’ll let you know what he comes up with next.
- Take My Picture — Filter (6:03)
- Firework — Katy Perry (3:47)
- Take It Off — Ke$ha (3:35)
- Hot Tottie — Usher (feat. Jay-Z) (4:59)
- Love and Wonder — DJ Earworm (5:50)
- Human — The Killers (4:05)
- This Is My Life — Edward Maya (3:49)
- Paper Planes — M.I.A. (3:23)
- Last Nite — The Strokes (3:13)
- Hallelujah — Justin Timberlake (feat. Charlie Sexton) (4:15)
Haul Buns 